Madame Bustle’s Tea Room

Yes, the dust sheets have been removed from the furniture and the chandeliers, the harpsichord has been tuned (waiting for Bennetts or Myddleton to try it out . . .) and the table is positively groaning under the combined weight of teapots, cups, Madeira cake and sandwiches . . .  

Toppers to be handed in on arrival for collapsing ,and  crinolines not wider than 2 meters, please. My sofas will not accommodate them.  Inexpressibles and petticoates always welcome, but for round gowns with trains . . . please bring your own footman.

 And no swinging from the chandeliers. Not after last time . . .(bustles out again with feather duster, followed by maid)

Now for starters : 
on the question of tea  :

I always fear that creation will expire before teatime.
~Sidney Smith

 We had a kettle; we let it leak:
Our not repairing made it worse.
We haven’t had any tea for a week…
The bottom is out of the Universe.
~Rudyard Kipling